Saturday, October 31, 2015

The Inner Workings Of A Blogging Mother's Mind




It was with nervous trepidation that I drafted the first entry on this dusty old blog - some nonsensical piece of fluff. Back then, I had no idea what I was going to write about and no idea what keeping a blog would bring to my life - a community, an income, a place to document life at home with young children, a creative outlet and after a while, the source of much inner turmoil about what to share, when to share and how much was too much.

Over the years I've fluctuated between writing with ease about things that matter (mostly myself because you know, how fabulously interesting) and feeling conflicted about what I'm putting out into the world wide inter-webs. THERE ARE CREEPS OUT THERE YOU KNOW????!!!!

Sharing things about myself was fine but as the mother of 3 young children who also featured heavily in my self involved musings - the water water began to look murky.

I'd written the tales of two children and tentatively shared the birth of another. Our ups, our downs our messes and our made beds. I'd typed it all out through mild depression, anxiety and the odd random elated sleep-ins.

Despite recording almost all of our most precious family memories at The Beetle Shack, some how, at some point in time I decided it was no longer appropriate to share pictures of my kids on this here blog spot. They, along with the world wide web, were getting to big and it ceased to seem suitable to share them.


So I cut it out. Just like that.

Cold turkey.

By blogging addiction died a death and I stopped carrying my camera everywhere I went. HOW BLOODY LIBERATING!

It felt good to be set free from the self induced shackles of The Beetle Shack.

It's been about a year since I regularly updated this space and as I flick through it's archives, I desperately miss it. I regret that there is a year of my kids lives that I haven't documented. I regret that my fabulous little Elke has rarely graced this blogs pages and I miss writing little stories in my head about our days.

The other afternoon the 5 of us walked a near by beach (most of us clothed, Elke fully nude) as the sun began to set I yearned to record our adventure. Why? Because it was perfect- it was exactly how I want my kids to remember their childhood and it was exactly how I want to remember raising them. With the sun on our back, the ocean in our ears and the sand at our feet (and our hair and eyes and bum cracks).

 So I sit here with an Aldi beer (dudes, get on that, it's good) cradled by a crocheted stubby holder crafted by an very early blogging mate and I think, oh little beetle shack baby blog - I love the memories that you hold. I love that this crazy modern world lead me to write down our dreary days. I love that my kids will have a record of what life was like when they were young and I hope that in the craziness of now, I can continue to capture the occasional moment on this dot com.

Hey blog. Nice to see you.

30 comments:

  1. While I totally understand why you stepped back from the blog, I have so missed your eloquent, relatable musings! It's great to see you back :-)

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  2. I love your blog and am always happy to see it appear in my reader! I fully understand pulling back but it is great to capture those memories and know they are there long after the moments have passed.

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  3. Completely understand why you would not blog but have missed your stories. Lovely to read this one. x

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  4. YIPPEE COME BACK. Your lovely blog got me through the madness of early parenthood. Totally get the creeps thing too. But selfishly YAY.

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  5. I'm glad that you are back. I have missed your stories. They inspired me and my blogging journey. I recently moved to Wordpress and updated my 'about' - because my blog has evolved:

    GoodFoodWeek is a blog full of posts about:
    - food {one-pot-wonders, recipes inspired by seasonal produce, super salads, winter warming recipes, toddler friendly snack ideas, and the odd bit of gluten free}
    - motherhood {birth stories, momentous moments, crazy outbursts, crying, laughing, dinosaurs – lots of dinosaurs}.
    - kid’s stuff {because I am a mum and kid’s stuff is part of my life now}
    - general observations {because sometimes I just want to share a story with someone who is over the age of 2}.

    I have enjoyed reading your family stories so much, that it inspired me to do the same. And even if no one reads them, they are there for my family and I to look back on and enjoy!

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  6. I feel the same and hello old favourite <3

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  7. I think the battle is justified when it comes to protecting our children on the net etc. But at the end of the day, I keep this record of my family for the exact reasons you mentioned above. Looking back over my blog I get all warm and fuzzy at the memories i've recorded and I'm SOOOOOO glad I kept it all going even when there have been spaces missing.
    I hope I see you around here more...as Veggie Mama said above you are one of my 'old favourites' xxx

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  8. Welcome back! Good to see you x

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  10. Snap. Ditto. I feel exactly the same way. I miss the good old days, but it's just so different now... Good to see you back here Em, hope all's well. x

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    1. Hi Jody!
      I agree it is so different now, somehow things were so honest and real back then. I don't know, I just feel like so many blogs now are fake, so many are giving you tips or trying to make some profound statement. I loved just sharing my little life, and making friends who were doing the same thing!
      Hope you and your little family are well,
      Rach xx

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  11. I've missed you too! A fellow new (ish) mum in Ireland. Your blog is a definite favourite. xx

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  12. Sometimes a break is good - and sometimes it's nice coming back from a break as well! x

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  13. It's a weird old world this bloggy thing. I love hearing your stories but I also feel your need to keep your kid protected. Good to hear from you though. oxox

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  14. Glad to hear you are back! You've got to do what you've got to do - when you are here we'll be listening :)

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  15. It's great you are back, even just every now and then. I love the memories that my blog brings when I look back over it & it is possible to strike a balance between sharing too much and not sharing at all. I like to think that I am striking that balance.

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  16. One of my most prized possessions is a book I made of a year's worth of blog posts and pictures. I know I could just keep a private journal but there's something so... accountable... about the self-imposed regularity of blogging. With the arrival of my first bub I'm hanging to get back into recording my days and weeks but struggle finding the time. I'm paralysed with wanting it to be perfect but you've reminded me about the importance of just keeping the memories, Em. So that's what I'm going to do x

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  17. Oh my goodness! Here I am at almost 5am, unable to sleep, thinking about life, when blogging comes to mind. I haven't even read a blog for a long time as I feel like things have changed so much and feel a little less personal now or something. Something made me wonder how you were Em, and what was happening on the Beetleshack. I absolutely love this post, and yes I miss the good old early blogging days too. How fun to meet people you would never have otherwise met!! It was so great. I'm considering starting a new blog, just for me if no one else, as something very new (and a little bit scary!) Is happening within our family. I'll think about it anyway :)
    So lovely to read your words again love,
    Your very early blogging mate, Rach xx

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  18. Btw, I am super impressed.that stubby holder is still being used!! :D

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  19. I'd love to see a bit of the old come back to this space as I've really missed it. I understand the creep part too but like others who've commented before me, I always appreciated your musings and seeing your beautiful family life.

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Thanks so much for your words of encouragement, advice and solidarity.

xo em