Thursday, April 30, 2015

ON RETURNING TO WORK


 By Emily Beetleshack

About a month ago, I returned to part time work. You know, that kind of work that insists you get dressed, wear make up and leave the house by 8am. Yeah, that kind. The kind of work that pays with cash money. WHAT A FLIPPING NOVELTY. CASH MONEY!! Who would have thought it?

Seriously, I feel so grown up... except none of my undies are very comfortable. Why this has only just become apparent, I'm not sure but it is a problem that vexes me. They are either too loose or crack creeping. I can't decide which is worse.*

Anyways, tangent.

For me, the very best thing about going to work is leaving the house. You know, actually walking out the front gates ALONE and pulling them closed behind me before walking down the street ALONE to collect my car. It's liberating.


I feel like I'm 17 (with wrinkles and 20 extra kg's). Perhaps this is enhanced further by the fact that I'm currently driving a 1999 Corolla sans hub caps and electric windows. I do believe it has a tape deck.

After 6 years of being at home, I'd developed a little anxiety about life outside of the front gates, so seldom did I venture through them as an independent person.

It's like you're invisible when you're a mum with young kids. Don't you think?

I know I was invisible to myself- existing purely to care for my children. I've gained weight, grown a beard and let the elastic perish in my smalls. I'm a stranger to myself.

Yet somehow I find myself starting again. I truly never thought it would happen. In the thick of my stay at home parenting years, I couldn't fathom working outside the white picked fences of our home. Sometimes my desire to escape them was so strong I would find myself running in my dreams yet at other times, contentment found me sitting on week-bix covered floors reading stories and playing make believe.

Both are real. Both are valid and both have their day in the sun.

I can't say I'm sad to be returning to work. Conversely, I'm stoked. I feel like the air is fresher and the ocean saltier. The breeze is crisp and for some reason, my children are more beautiful than they have ever been before.

Having some distance has provided me with a lush new perspective - now I can see the sparkle in my children's eyes. I'm invigorated and so ready for this new chapter.



How about you. Do you work outside of the home for real cash money? Why? Why not? Do you want to?



*Note to self; buy new undies (suggestions for very comfortable undies welcome)

26 comments:

  1. A beautiful post Em, I've just started my family and im at the beginning of this journey as a SAHM... I cant see where It will end u but this gives me hope that I might one day enjoy leaving my daughter... xxxx

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  2. Oh gosh, I don't want to wish these days away, but there are times when I can't wait to walk out the door to work or anything where I don't have a little one hanging off my hip. I hope you continue to enjoy work and I totally get the undies situation and the weight gain and well so much in this post I totally get. xx

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  3. I love going to work!
    Hot coffees, lunches eaten some time around lunch time!
    When not on maternity leave, I work three days a week…and I agree that it makes my children seem even sweeter on those other two days. The two days I spend with my children are just for them…and we usually have great fun.
    Enjoy!

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    1. How good it coffee at work? 3 days is a great balance

      xx

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  4. I miss work. I think about returning but then I feel anxious. It is a little sad and a little exciting all at once. I only thought today about randomly bumping into at the shops, years ago when all we had to do was a trip to the shops with screaming kids stuffed into a trolley. Enjoy the fresh air and freedom xxx

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    1. oh screaming kids stuffed into a trolly. I SO avoid the shopping centre these days. Like I would rather eat tinned tomatoes and canned coconut milk than actually do the shopping!

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  5. I am in the process of landing a job, final interview next week (been told im in its just a formality waa) I cannot wait to start work.. 7years at home has been a blessing, but it has taken a toll on me, may sound totally selfish but its the truth x BUT I am just part time so I have more time with Mr 2 then away from him - Im a sucker for his baby blues

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  6. A very thought provoking post Em, Im curious - are you back to Art teaching? Im also an Art teacher and have been thinking about getting registered here in QLD (since I was based in NZ) and doing some relief teaching...though im still breastfeeding Pepper...a good excuse at the moment to not need too, but some aspect definatly appeals ;)
    Saskia xo

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  7. Work can be the best thing for a Mum of small children. The break, the perspective and the greater appreciation can make the time at home so much better. Good luck with everything including buying new knickers! x

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  8. I am a stay at home mom (and blog from home too!!) and it's what I always dreamed of but whenever I say a "now hiring sign" or walk into a cafe or restaurant with terrible service (I worked in the food industry before having my son) and have the urge to apply for a job so I can help them out. But then I could never imagine leaving my son right now. Maybe someday when we're done having kids in the youngest is at least in preschool I'll want to go back part time but right now I am happy to be at home, I can barely keep up with laundry while home all day I can't imagine if I had to work and do all the house stuff too! Good for you for getting back out there!!

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  9. Good on you! I hope you enjoy working to the max. I feel no guilt at all about enjoying myself when not with the kids; that whole thing's a sham, since no-one would expect a dad to feel that way about going out to work full time. I agree with you that being with the children is so much sweeter when I've been away from them x

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    1. Amen to that! You are so right- there is no pressure on the dad's to feel guilt or ANYTHING other than pride for providing... or maybe I'm referring to a 1960's film I watched... can't quite be sure?

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  10. Ohhhh Em I love this! Yay for you, this is so awesome - I can feel the spring in your step! While my work outside the home is sporadic, I do love every minute of it. Just being me - Tahnee, the photographer. Not mother or wife. It is invigorating and replenishing! I am still 18mths away from having all three at school, and I look forward to the shift of being able to work during the daylight at home (oh how amazing that must be!!) but at the same time, I don't want to wish this last part of this chapter away... when they're all big enough to be dropped at the gates every weekday.. it's all bitter sweet but I have learnt to embrace the changes rather than fight them. We should invest in ourselves as mothers, do the things that recharge our batteries and make us wear good fitting undies! ha! So happy for you xx

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  11. Working is so so so good. And truly you're an inspiration, I'm so glad you've found a piece of yourself again, it's such a wonderful feeling. Only this morning (& in part due to the weather), I pulled out the worst pair of undies from the back of the draw. Ooh, hello lace, I thought, why not. Sadly, the elastic had gone, many years before and these were literally ballooning out the top of my pants. But being a stay at home Mum, I was able to remove after school pick up. The perks of the job, eh? Kellie xx

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    1. See that's what I can't do - Remove said underpants at work. Not convenient at all. It's quite stressful making sure I choose the right pair.

      Glad you could strip yours off though! STRAIGHT TO THE BIN!

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  12. As much of a juggle as it is to get the kids out the door and organised on my work days, I wouldn't have it any other way. I'm not ashamed to admit I get so much joy from working in an office with other grown ups. After years at home, it's nice to have someone who is over the voting age give me credit for something I've done.

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  13. GO the corolla! As you know, the mighty camry has no electric windows... and sadly no hubcaps anymore either. But it's still going strong :) yay for fast-becoming-retro-becoming-vintage-toyotas!

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  14. Real "work" is so much better than "uni work". I get more recognition from the husband, i get paid (PRAISE JESUS!) and i get to home and watch tv or ready a sappy book with out having to worry about assignments or what not. I went back to work when my son was 4 months old because we needed the money and i worked through 1.5 years of f/t uni and then was let off (eh, it was my dads business and life was quiet for them, in the end he did me a favour as my grades went up at uni even though i was only working one day a week) and i have just started working this year and wow its awesome ha ha ha i get paid, even though i deal with poop, bad smells, wounds and the elderly, i still get paid! I do say its hard when hubby works long hours and i start a few times in my fortnight at 6:30 so the logistics of working when you have a child sometimes outweighs the good bits. i find. My i have to say my son is adaptable and we are blessed to have family 10 mins away from us who get him off to school for us. And i wholeheartedly agree, my son looks that more handsome and cute when he steps off the bus when I've been to work or he's been at school (big school helps too ;D ). I had a good laugh when i read your post, and my husband drives a VL to work… Now thats old school ha ha ha Heres to enjoying some freedom and finding that balance!

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  15. I work mostly at home but a meeting one morning a week. Lipstick!

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  16. I work outside the home one day a week(when I am not on mat leave) then do 10hrs or so from home. I enjoy the work outside the home, the work at home is pretty rough. It is hard to work from home with little toddlers everywhere. The day I go to work I dress up, drink hot coffee and eat my lunch with no one else stealing it. A small slice of heaven! Then on the way home I often stop at the huge suburban shopping centre and wander aimlessly looking at cheap clothing... or Frozen toys.

    I am not sure if you realise how much many of us have missed your writing. I love the other contributors and your wearing posts and have some level of understanding as to why sharing is no longer what you need to do but your writing brings great comfort to me. For someone to say out loud those words that swim in my head but no one dares to say about parenting small children. How bloody hard it is. But also how bloody awesome it is. The ebbs and flows of motherhood you document so well xo

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  17. You are awesome. Good for you. I've just found the best undies at Kmart - boyleg briefs. Nice cotton (not sweaty polyester) and plenty of bum coverage. Perfect. Good luck in your search! ;)

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  18. The thought of returning to work when Ned was 9 months old was horrible. I actually really hated being at work for the first couple of months always wondering what my little mate was up to. Now that I've been back at work a year it's just part of the routine and I don't sit here daydreaming about what he is up to. It just makes my days off more valuable. I still haven't got it all sorted out and often and scrambling when it comes to filling his lunchbox for daycare but I make it work. It's a tough gig but it makes parenting more rewarding.

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Thanks so much for your words of encouragement, advice and solidarity.

xo em