Life with young children is a big thing. It's fast and it's slow and it's boring. Lately, upon opening my eyes at the dawn of each new day, I've been met with exhaustion and a feeling of overwhelm. There is either nothing to do or too much to do all at once. No in-between.
It's the nature of being the sole parent during the daylight hours. It's the nature of being the primary disciplinarian day in, day out. It's the nature of being so deep down exhausted that your brain won't function.
The love I have for my children is so vast it's otherworldly. I literally ache for them and when I kiss their warm little foreheads at night, my breath is taken away and I get a pain in chest only remedied by long deep breath and a 'thank you Jesus'.
I'm grateful for them. They're the best thing I've ever made.
But truth be told, some days I don't parent them as well as I ought. Partly from lack of trying, partly from lack of ability. Mostly from sheer exhaustion.
I leave the TV on for too long, I snap responses as I unenthusiastically spread jam on wholemeal bread and I let my mind wander when they're telling me sweet stories.
It's been 6 years of stay at home parenting and I am fatigued with a capital F (off).
As a result we're making some changes here at The Beetle Shack to ensure that we spend our time well. To be certain that we're providing the best we possibly can for our kids.
Our days at home together are numbered. Zeph starts school next year and everything will change so we're dead set determined to make the most of the time we have.
More time together.
More time in the sun, less time in front of the telly. More home cooked meals, less take away. More ease, less stress.
Spring is here, the sun is shining* and the whole world is ready to play.
I'm really interested to know, after how many years of solo stay at home parenting did you REALLY feel like you couldn't go on? Or is it just me?
*totally got sunburnt while having a cafe coffee with a girlfriend yesterday. Yes, that's right I had a cafe coffee and delicious french toast. all time. i know.