Thursday, October 10, 2013

WELCOMING THE PEAR




I used to be a size 8. Really, I did. It's hard to believe, I know. Do you know what, I even used to wear a bikini. GASP. I'm repulsed by the memory.

Oh wait, that's right. That was before my body wore the trophies won from growing and birthing humans. Before stretch marks, sagging breasts and unfortunate excess skin.

Back in the day I had a wardrobe literally overflowing with lovely 'dry clean only' clothing. Silk, velvet, tweed - what of it? Sass and Bide, Zimmerman, Marc Jacobs, Lover - it was no big thing. I thought nothing of it and convinced myself that buying designer threads was an 'investment' because you know, when I was 23 I thought I'd be, like, a size 8 for, like, ever. You know?

Needless to say, once I had birthed my first baby I realised, much to my horror, that my bum was never going to be small again, that was reserved for my boobs post breastfeeding. I happily welcomed the pear and all of my wise 'investments' were wasted.

Over the past 5 years my body has experienced dramatic change, 3 times over. Each time I've bought a new child into this world, I've kept an extra 6 or so kilos, just to be safe (gotta keep those reserves up, right?). I'm currently 30 kilos heavier than I was on my wedding day, which is a lot.

The extra weight isn't really a problem for me, it's not something I dwell on and it certainly doesn't make me feel bad about myself. But it DOES create quite the dilemma when I try to dress myself.

I've got a wardrobe FULL of great clothing but over half of it is packed into space bags waiting for my size 8 arse to re-appear.

I'm sick of the clutter and I need to cull but i'm a pinch sentimental.

So what's a girl to do?

Do I simply throw out years worth of beautiful clothing in perfect condition? Do I keep a collection for my daughters when they are older, or is that really dorky? Do I hold onto all of it for another decade in the hope that i'll shrink?

Or do I throw it out (obviously that means giving it to friends and charity), all of it? Purge and begin again with wash and wear in a size 12?


How have you managed your wardrobe during your baby making years?


*i'm not the only one who loves Country Road sizing am I? 


41 comments:

  1. I hear ya sista! I'm in the same predicament. I've actually space bagged all of my lovely threads in hope that one day I'll be able to fit back into them ( I know I can do it but my kick up the bum has come in yet). Or am I just kidding myself?

    Please let me know of a solution if you come to one :) In the meantime my gorgeous 20 something nieces are enjoying shopping in my wardrobe... A wardrobe that I can only look at and touch! :(

    Sophie xo

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  2. I'm ruthless and have already parted with all my beautiful, designer size 8 clothes. It was too depressing for me to see them staring back at me every time I looked in the wardrobe, knowing it's unlikely I'd ever fit in them again... Thank goodness for Country Road and there sizing! xo

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  3. Once again you make me feel normal! you're a wonderful women x

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  4. No kids for me, but my size 8 days are long gone and the pear shape is here to stay! I've gone through the same thing with all the beautiful clothes I used to wear that just aren't me anymore. I've given special pieces to friends, sold some on eBay, and given some to charity. I'm still trying to build my new wardrobe (and yes, Country Road is the new label du jour!).
    PS: you're gorgeous! And you have fabulous legs. xx

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  5. I just had a big haul and sold nearly every Zimmermann piece along with other gems taking up space on eBay... you know to those 23 year olds who are happy to fork out for dresses that are a lifetime of seasons ago mostly just to have the label. The pocket money was pretty good! I was thinking to myself who would pay that much but remembered I had once bought these at full price once upon a time and had a little laugh at how mature/old I now am. I did keep a couple of items that I loved and just not ready to part with. Maybe if I have a girl I will save for her. I have worn a few of my mums old clothes and love that she hung on to them! xo

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  6. Audible Clapping for you wonderful mum! My 3rd boy just turned two, and with it I chucked the lot.... maternity clothes WITH the prebaby- I have a life of lazy lunches and brunches at leisure -wear! And Im glad. It felt good.
    I have taken up running... I run away from everything at night! And it feels good too, I have never run but I started just running to the corner, then walking, then running, just around our block and I am feeling better about my body and my state of mind! I dont care if my weight changes, but if it does, I am going to buy new little threads in small sizes....that will fit with my new lifestyle of nature bushwalking footy playing cricket slips catching poop collecting loud messy brunch days in whatever size fits and hides grubby hands! I was tempted to cut up the old clothes.....but shame on me...someone else should get some joy!
    I did put a dress on last year and my second boy started giggling and then announced... "Hey mummy, you forgot to put pants on!"
    Yep, he didnt know what a dress was....oh the shame! Lov your honesty Em...you rock a good blog post!

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  7. All my tiny things have gone on Etsy - they're all vintage 50s stuff that I will never be able to wear again. The vintage stuff that there is a faint possibility of fitting are staying put, all the non-vintage stuff has been whisked off to charity. The thing about selling stuff is I can then afford to buy larger sized vintage to replace it - huzzah! (even if I do sniff and mope a bit when my stuff gets sold and I package it off to its new home)

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  8. Your words just nailed it for me! I couldn't agree more.
    I am currently 8 1/2 months pregnant with number 2 and given how much I have been perusing Country Road online lately I am beginning to think our crazy plan to fly back to Australia for 2 months from the Middle East with a 4 week old and toddler may have been created by my subliminal need to shop at Country Road post birth! I will never forget the joy of buying a pair of CR jeans after the birth of my first bub and being so surprised I was fitting in a size 10 not 14... but only at CR!!

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  9. I'd eBay it Em. Then buy a thermomix. Xx

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    1. ooh I like that idea! it could just give me the motivation to list it all. :)

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  10. My mother has a penchant for beautiful and expensive clothing, and if we're honest, is a bit of a hoarder. I have two sisters and we are all ever thankful for both these attributes. Each year we raid her stash of clothes spanning from the 1970's and she loves to see her much loved threads be worn again.

    Personally I'm a fan of getting rid of anything I haven't worn in the last 3+ years with the exception of keeping key pieces for my soon-to-be-born daughter.
    X laura

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  11. eBay the shit out of your size 8s, E. Then take that money and buy stuff for the real you. The you that is now. Not the you that you used to be. I'm off to Singapore in a week and in the last couple of months I have been obsessed about losing extra baby weight so I can buy lotsa stuff in Singapore. So stupid. I'm gonna buy stuff anyway. Stuff that I can fit into now and that accentuates the big hips that carried my baby boy!

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  12. Have an Instagram sale of clothing you want to purge and donate a percentage to charity. Definitely keep some special pieces for your girls. Even if the style's out of date when they're older, having vintage fabric is always a winner.

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  13. I'd try selling your old clothes or giving them to a consignment shop. I didn't keep anything from my pre-baby wardrobe. Honestly, it would be out of style now anyway. Get some cash out of that investment wardrobe and buy some things you can love and wear now. Celebrate today!

    That's just my opinion. Of course, do whatever you feel good about.
    ~FringeGirl

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  14. Ha, I'm still holding on to all my old stuff...and it's been almost six years since I had my daughter!Just recently I joined the gym and I've already gained 3 pairs of pants back...so, you never know, ya know? I say hold on to your stuff a bit longer :)

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  15. Same boat here. Before my 3 kiddies I was a size 8. And am now sitting snugly at a size 14. I would love to get back to a size 12 but am in no hurry. I'm currently in maxi dresses, leggings (although I'm not a fan) and I sneak into my maternity tops too. I don't buy a lot as I convinced I will go down a size...............one day.

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  16. I was SO sad the day that I came to this wardrobe crossroad - only because I pretty much needed to say goodbye to the girl I was before the kids came along. I gave away all my beautiful dresses etc., to younger cousins who looked amazing in them, but kept a few pieces for sentimental reasons - like, the first date top that felt like liquid silk, or a dress that I wore when we danced all night to rockabilly music. There's NO WAY I'll ever fit back into them, but I love the memories that still embed into the cloth. There are a few pieces that I've been wondering if I can remodel into something I can wear now - just wishing I was a more confident seamstress!
    One thing is for sure, I'm definitely more colourful with my clothing now than I ever have been before, and I love that. Are you the same?

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  17. Though I've never birthed a child and at this point in my life could never find anything my body has ever been through to equate to birthing a child, I do know what it's like to 'embrace the pear.' I'm 20, but it feels like I was born a size 12. When other girls went through puberity and received boobs - I received hips, and boy was I unhappy about it. I've teetered between 10 and 12 (and even 14, that one really bad winter where I kind of let it all go) respectively since teenagerdom. I used to try and make all the wrong clothes work, but it seems like with each passing year I grow ever more accepting of my body. I embrace the hips, thighs, and bum and try to make clothes work for me (not the other way around). It's so wonderful that you're so accepting of your body.

    I think you should choose a few pieces to keep (maybe for yourself or maybe for your daughters) and then start over fresh!

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  18. Regardless of size our bodies change shape too and even if you got back to that size you probably wouldn't suit the style so I say sell the lot but keep a few items for the little ladies that are likely to still be cool.
    You know how much I exercise so I do fit my pre bub stuff but I was not comfortable with midriff showing tops and dresses that hardly covered my butt, after all I am a Mum now so sold the lot and developed my Mummy wardrobe in the same size but far more classic to last as my body has changed shape too

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  19. eBay baby. Then spend a whole day at CRoad. Xx

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  20. Sell them. Keep one small space bag (but just the one) of classics or old favourites or sentimental pieces that you can't part with for your little ladies. Then, shop up on things that love and suit your body now! We get older, our tastes change, what suits us changes and the reality is if you do ever lose weight you'll be so excited that you'll want new stuff anyway.

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  21. I'm giving away the things I know I'll NEVER fit again. But the things I MIGHT fit again, I'm keeping. If not for me, then for Clementine. I should say that that only counts for things I love that are good quality. p.s. I miss my bikinis too

    x

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  22. You always look amazing - so you shouldn't worry about your shape :)

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  23. Oh man! You mean my favourite CR jeans are not really a size 12. Bugger!;) x

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  24. Lululemon are pretty good for that feel good factor too - go the canadian sizing!
    I've chucked the clothes along with (most of) the insecurities but I still would love to wear a bikini again!

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  25. Oh, this post speaks to me so! As a first time mum to a 1 month old, I've suddenly come to the realisation that I may not be able to wear my beautiful silk, woollen, cashmere pieces again! It's such a depressing thought. And my shoes too! My feet are still swollen and don't quite fit in my lovely shoes anymore.

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  26. Oh, hang on them a bit longer - and remember that beautiful baby girl is really a baby and your body is nuturing and one day you will wear some of those pieces again and be pleased! When your baby making days are truly over you will find yourself walking it off. Take them out of your wardrobe though - you don't need to be haunted! I have always found it delightful to be able to wear things again! I was never an 8, a 12 or maybe a 10, never around the hips though. Oh, and every body is a bikini body - all you have to do is wear one! I never did as a teenager, bought one when I was 30 and wore it for a couple of seasons - then I got myself a new one a few weeks ago and wore it to the beach a couple of weeks ago! 45, a 4 year old and 6 year old - more kgs than necessary but I thought I just have to do it.

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  27. I would let it go...it is getting out dated any how. Once the weight issue is resolved, you can start a new, fashionable collection of nice, investment quality clothes.

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  28. I've been away from the internet for some time now, have missed your space and now I'm catching up.

    "That was before my body wore the trophies won from growing and birthing humans."

    ^^^ This made me clap and cheer!

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  29. Keep some for sure. I see pics of mum in some of her cool stuff from the 70's and always say why didnt you keep that so I could wear it? Little did she know her daughter would love such clothes from this ridiculous era. Might ring true for the lovely pip in 20 years time. Zimmerman , who knew?? I still have my red cherry 8 up docs from 20 years ago. They came out of the closet for a few festivals in my late 20's and I feel more nostalgia on the cards in another 20 years for my Edie. They still in perfect nic.

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  30. Yo.
    I'm trying to budge that baby weight. Number two is biting my butt.
    I always think of that comment you said that it's nicer to cuddle a bit of flesh. I'm sure your size 8 self was not nearly as nice to cuddle.

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  31. Perhaps you could auction it off, and use the proceeds to go towards something meaningful, either to you, or the greater public, like a charity that helps girls with body disorders? Just a random suggestion :D

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  32. Embrace the new, say see ya to the old...I think your a bit of alright and clearly Mr Beetle does too! ;)
    xx

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  33. I Gumtreed all my designer frocks, not only are they never going to fit again, where the hell am I going to wear them? Date night? Yeah sure. One word girlfriend "Camilla". Love me a mumu, bright, colourful & designer xx

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  34. I Gumtreed all my designer frocks, not only are they never going to fit again, where the hell am I going to wear them? Date night? Yeah sure. One word girlfriend "Camilla". Love me a mumu, bright, colourful & designer xx

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  35. Oh... I feel your pain...

    I would definitely keep some. My mum has a suitcase full of kaftans and fabulous embroidered jumpsuits that she used to wear - I LOVE looking through them. I am doing the same for my girls. Fashion is such a snap-shot in time.

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  36. Maybe keep some of the ones you really really love and sell the rest to make way for new clothes that you love xxLisa Mckenzie

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  37. I visit here often these days, love your style, dress sense and I think you oooze beauty!
    I'm in a similar boat, and it's so nice I know I'm not alone. Seven months ago I had babe number two, and since my first have gained 20kgs (of course I would not change for the world) but I am struggling with my new body size and shape. I hope one day I will accept it and find a way to dress that makes me look and feel nice. So although I don't have any advice, much love to you and thank you for making me feel slightly less alone xx

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  38. There is something about 5 years and 30kgs. Well, in my case its 5 and 20 or 7 and 30, but still similar increase, similar timeframe and a baby in the mix. Unlike you I am not content. I too have a wardrobe full of small sizes that I miss. I have not yet accepted the idea of tossing them all. I just want to be body confident again, and unfortunately I think that means that at least 15 of those 30 needs to vamoush! Just enough to be able to have more spring in my step!
    That said, I relax more in the company of mixed shape women and have no desire to join the throngs of intimidating by skinny teenaged body yummy mummys. There seems to be somethimg far more honest about all shapes and sizes don't you think. Curves are good!

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Thanks so much for your words of encouragement, advice and solidarity.

xo em