Monday, July 1, 2013
Farewell to Endless Togetherness
I've now completed two weeks of solo stay at home parenting with 3 kids - my first weeks as a mother of three without Dave right beside me.
Prior to that we had 6 weeks of togetherness as a family. That family time was deeply rewarding and satisfying, providing Dave and I an opportunity for reflection and the chance to look ahead at what is to come.
Having a caesar meant that I had, by necessity, the opportunity to sit back and observe my children interact, play and sleep rather than being hands on 100% of the time. If they had needs beyond a very tender cuddle, they needed to direct them to Dave. It was beautiful to be able to simply watch them love life rather than trying to micro manage their every move - fulfil every request for a cup of warm milk, wipe every bottom and clean up every spill.
Without the endless responsibility that comes with being the stay at home carer, I was reminded of the pure joy that is parenthood.
Those weeks taught me more about who I want to be and how I want to parent.
I want to laugh more, raise my voice less and actually ENJOY my small people, not just manage them. They are funny individuals in their own right. Yes, they reflect Dave and I in more ways than we care to mention but they also have their own outrageous humour and idiosyncrasies. Their own hang ups and sensitivities.
As I observed them I witnessed how much they love me - with the same unconditional love that I have for them. While I was unable to lift them up for cuddles I saw them climb up to the bed or upon the lounge to snuggle in with me, tenderly ensuring they didn't hurt my stomach (they could have been more careful of the boobs though- gosh milk filled breasts hurt!), their head nuzzling into my chubby neck.
While some mornings I am daunted by this task of mothering 3, I am trying to remind myself that what really matters is that I spend quality time with my small ones. That they are happy, nurtured and content. Not that my house is clean, that dinner is cooked or my inbox empty which is just as well, cus they rarely are.
It was sad to farewell endless days of togetherness, sleep ins (for me) and hot lunches and while solo parenting is frustrating and exhausting it truly is deeply gratifying once the rascals are in bed.