Monday, April 8, 2013

Stepping Into Beautiful Newness

Today, Monday 8th April marks my very last day of total freedom.

Ever since young Zephie weaned at 10 months, I've had one blissful day a week all to myself. For a while, before the Lady Baby was born I went back to work on that sacred day and taught other peoples naughty kids about Art. It wasn't bad - teaching 30 teens is much less taxing that parenting two toddlers.

 But for the past year or so- i've had a day each week that is just mine. A day to clean and cook and wash and blog. A day to sleep at lunch time and use the bathroom in peace. A day to think and read and pray and reflect.

A day given to me by my entirely selfless parents who I simply can't (and don't) thank enough.

Things are changing though and after today, my Mondays will be filled with obstetric appointments... at least for the next 3 weeks.... and then they will be filled with blissful newborn chaos.

Today, while the house is quiet and the dinner simmers in the slow cooker i'm taking it all in. Enjoying a final chunk of solitude and preparing myself for what is to come.

Beautiful newness*.

I know the next few weeks are going to be hard, there will be tears of this i'm sure. I'm anxious about what it will be like to have 3 humans to care for. Im anxious about what it will be like recovering after a c-section with 3 humans to care for. I'm anxious about having 4 days in hospital with out my kids and i'm anxious about how well i'll manage my hormones or how well they'll manage me. Truth be told, I'm brimming with anxiety but I have Faith and with faith I can move mountains (or maybe mole hills, but you catch the sentiment).

So, here we go.

Beautiful newness, I know you won't disappoint.

*that will contain beautiful difficulties.


  1. We're about the stage in our pregnancies! I feel so anxious now that I actually feel a bit numb. Not only is the whole anxiety about going from 1 to 2 kids I also have Gestational Diabetes and there's the anxiety about maybe having to go on to insulin, which means induction, which means no Birth Centre and having to go through the delivery ward. I almost just want the next 3 weeks to be over but then I'll have to deal with all of the anxiety of a newborn! It never ends does it?

    Just know I'm thinking of you and I'm right there with you :) Fridays are my alone days - Lily has preschool. Soon they'll be "baby and me" days.

    1. I guess we're walking this road together, huh.

      we'll be orright... won't we? ;)

      Can't wait to hear your news when the time comes. Until then I wish you big long sleeps


    2. I'm sure we will :) It always seems bigger and harder than it actually is.

      Looking forward to your news too! Lots of big sleeps for you too :)

  2. Golly, your pregnancy went so fast! This is a beautifully written post, Em, and I think part of the battle is recognising the difficulties that lie ahead, which you've done so eloquently. I think you're going to be just fine.

  3. I just love the way you write, you just transported me back to how I was feeling before my third baby was born a couple of years ago! Sigh! I had a csec with her too, we muddled through and it was ok!. Oh that newborn stage.. I love it.

  4. Oh Em, those anxious feelings and thoughts are surely what all mothers feel and think... Don't they? (I sure did and I'm sure I will if/when we have a third)!!! Live in the now as much as possible and meditate on the goodness of Hod and the peace He brings. Your home is about to be absolutely OVERFLOWING with love!!! Three weeks!!!!!

  5. I am hoping you are filled with a huge amount of peace in the next little will be fine and in a very short amount of time it will feel so the norm xxxxxx

  6. Love and prayers, Em. You know I'm with you all the way....
    Ronnie xo

  7. Above all Em be kind to yourself. Take all the time you need. It's a change for ALL but a beautiful one which will bring with it many lessons to be learned :)

    Sophie xo

  8. You are going to be amazing! I know how the fear can seem to creep in but you have so much amazingness before you. I cannot wait to see your new little one! Xx

  9. Don't feel anxious if you can at all help it. I had my fourth baby via c-section 3 months ago. At 32 weeks I managed to break my ankle in three places and snap a tendon in my leg requiring multiple surgeries both whilst pregnant and after my daughters birth. I was petrified how I would cope with four children whilst I was wheelchair bound and recovering from a c-section. My husband is self employed and returned to work by necessity 3 days after my final surgery removing pins and when I was barely mobile. My kids were all amazing my two very active boys slowed to my pace despite the fact they had had to endure someone with us all the time prior to my daughters birth as I couldn't look after them and was in immense pain and my husband needed to complete work commitments. I was terrified I would suffer from post natal depression as I was so bleak prior to giving birth. Whilst none of it was easy it has passed I now can walk, albeit a little slower, and take my kids to the park / zoo/ wherever I want! My baby is adorable despite the fact she does not sleep. You can and will be able to do whatever is required. I try to remember how lucky I am to have my amazing little family and how full my heart is.

  10. My goodness, enjoy these last moments to yourself. The first few weeks are always hard, but your brightness, kindness, warmth, and faith will get you through, I'm sure.

  11. You're going to do great lady. Those kiddos are lucky to have you.

  12. If the wee one is a girl...Faith would be a lovely meaningful name ;) It will all be great. Sounds like you've got a good team on your side. The third child really sends things over the edge in a fantastic "we are family" kind of way. Rest up now and embrace the charming chaos to come!

  13. Your * made me chuckle :) You'll be fine, and you have wonderful supportive family and friends - don't hesitate to ask for help! Embrace the muddled fog! x

  14. Us mums really do settle into your routines don't we.
    Change can shake things up a bit.
    But gosh this is the best reason for things to be shaken up. A new baby *sigh*.
    You will be so busy loving on this baby that you won't even care you don't have your day anymore.

    Enjoy your day today :)

  15. Bless your cotton Socks!
    Mama of 3, you have created something truly amazing, messy, remarkebly complicated, demanding and something that lasts forever, and by heck it is totally AWESOME!
    Enjoy your hospital time...pack lots of treats!

    I finally get why women go gaga over babies! When you have had all yours, every time you get to hold or see someone elses its like reliving every feeling... I thought people just loved my baby boys...alas no...I gave them a chance to tred down memory lane...Im hoping to do the same when I see pics of your 3rd cheeky bundle o joy!

  16. Oh enjoy this next new season of your beautiful life, I am sure it will be just that even more beautiful in the change. xxx

  17. Three children. Beautifully messy, messily beautiful!
    And through the mess, I found number 3 slipped right in without a hitch. I'm sure it will in your family too.
    And Faith will provide the Grace to fill the gaps, I promise! Enjoy every second xx

  18. You made me cry. And clucky. And I'm never clucky! x

  19. I loved this post em! You also made me clucky for a third bubba:-) I think this time in a pregnancy can be filled with all the emotions you are experiencing but you will take it all in your stride and be AMAZING! Wishing you peace, contentment and blessings always. Best advice I was given with both babies in the early days from a lovely midwife was to take every feed at a time and just focus on that feed. Helped me a lot in the first 6 weeks when I was feeding around the clock and couldn't see past the early stage:-) and enjoy those newborn cuddles, so excited for you all! Hugs xxx lisa

  20. I read this the other day and my feeble mind can't even come up with anything useful and/or supportive to say. It is all going to happen. All the joy, the love, the hugeness, the bits that make you feel the smallest on earth. And it's all true and lovely and scary. And you have a beautiful family to hold you up through it all. And you have your beautiful self, you have it all there, within you, ready to go. Trust. So excited for you all ;)sarah

  21. Greeting from London where we just welcomed our 3rd girl. I know exactly what you are referring to - the anxiety and guilt.... but let me tell you, it all melts away as soon as little 1 arrives! We are over the moon and so in love. And yes, you'll be so tired you cry for no reason and yes, you'll think your kids stink at being a mother, but it all passes in split second.

    Enjoy your new family dynamic. and many congratulations! you look GORGEOUS!

    claire x

  22. I think you'll do just great Em, you have such an intelligent, loving and positive approach to life. I could see you having 6 children, if you wanted it that way xo

  23. Great post. It's going to be fine, because you are prepared for whatever lies ahead. x

  24. beautiful newness with raging hormones and paper knickers is still beautiful! wish i didn't live a world away i would come on over and help xxx


Thanks so much for your words of encouragement, advice and solidarity.

xo em