Thursday, April 18, 2013

Baby Moon - Beetle Shack Style


My delicious p.j pile consists of organic sleepwear c/o Sorella and Me (the pants are exactly the right length, if you're a shorty, you'll know how awesome that is) and a cute Bambi set by Arabella Ramsey for Target.


I often read beautiful stories of blissful baby moons where mothers and their new-borns bond at home over breast milk and cups of herbal tea. In these stories, they stay in the quiet comfort of their bedrooms while friends and family nurture them with hearty meals and back rubs.

These women walk out of birthing suites (sometimes hours after giving birth) with a new born babe in arms, ready to hibernate in the comfort of their own bed, with their own linen and their own pillow. Their husband and additional children quietly coexist in the home beside them.

While I simply adore the sound of the above, it's just not reality for me.

My kids are LOUD and they move so quickly- like lightning. They jump on the bed too, can you believe it? Each and every morning they climb from the foot of the bed to centre, right between Dave and I. There they wiggle and squirm and kick until someone gets them a cup of milk.

For me, a baby moon in the hospital hotel is just perfect*.

Four days of dinner deliveries, ready made cups of tea and semi stale biscuits in plastic wrappers is my idea of bliss.

Four days a beautiful, nurturing midwives popping in for chats and blood pressure checks- maybe even a nappy change if i'm lucky!

Each morning Dave will arrive fresh faced and well slept (ehum, not) with a hot cappuccino from the cafe down stairs. Together we will sit and watch our new human and talk about the perfection we've created whilst drinking our caffeine. Our children will be lovingly entertained by our friends and family while we enjoy a few very sacred days of new born bliss- in the hospital.

While I love the notion that home is the best place for a woman to recover from birth, I can't help but propose that maybe, just maybe every woman is different, every birth is different and what is 'best' is diverse and varied.

Yay for motherhood and diversity and modern medicine and acceptance and hospitals and semi stale biscuits!

YAY FOR BABIES!

***

In all seriousness, I have had SUCH positive experiences in the hospital after the birth of my babies.  The midwives have been exceptionally caring, patient, understanding and nurturing. It's such a happy time for me, those first few days of new life where everything in slow and simple and quiet.



Tell me, where did you recover from your birth/s? What was it like?



*and a requirement of the necessary caesar that i'll be having. Gotta make the most of it right, positive thinking and all that ;)

61 comments:

  1. I totally agree...I loved being in the hospital and having people look after me!
    All I had to worry about was admiring my baby and eating the breakfast, morning tea, lunch, afternoon tea, dinner and turn down that someone prepared and brought to me!
    Oh and of course, learning how to breastfeed, how to change a nappy, how to bathe a new born, and how to sit down VERY gingerly!

    My mother said that when I was born she was allowed to stay in the hospital for seven days, the babies were checked into a nursery and mothers received massages!

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    1. getting the beast feeding right is a real motivation for staying longer, huh! It was for me the first time round... and the bathing.... really.... just everything....

      My grandmother told me they used to stay 10 days, TEN! She said when she left hospital she would fit in her pre pregnancy clothes. Naturally, I didn't like hearing that ;)

      xxx

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  2. Love it Em - Im with you on the hospital thing, totally see the joys of homebirthing and the obvious pride factor behind it all - but what gets me is..well, life has to get back to life straight after the birthing business and us people that do the hospital get to kick back and let others help and clean up the lovely mess we made:) For that reason I choose hospital, and had lovely natural births there too:)
    All the best in the coming days/weeks Em...hope your recovery goes smoothly too:) Take it easy lady! x

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  3. Damn it, Emily! There you go making me all clucky. Seriously, NOT yet! But seriously, I also can't wait to meet that little human you've been growing. Eeeeeee! x

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  4. I had a hospital stay after one emergency C-section and then again for a planned C-section. It was the best place for me. The food was top notch and nothing was too much trouble for the nurses. I was in a private hospital though. My sister recently had a wonderful home-birth and was surrounded by caring friends and family who dropped in with meal after meal after meal.So I agree with you Emily, there isn't a one size fits all approach when it comes to having babies. I am getting so excited for you and your crew. Best wishes x

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    1. Thats two pretty amazing scenarios right there :)

      It does seem to be true that people simply want to lavish love and support on a new mum/baby, doesn't it. Regardless of the place, there is food and clean things around!

      xo em

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  5. I love your honesty! My mum had a c-section and was in hospital for a week afterwards. One night the nurses said they would check me into the nursery so that her and dad could go out for dinner! They said she better take the opportunity while she could.

    As we start on the journey of hopefully having a little one on our arms next year (please doctors, please) the newborn bit scares me a lot. I worry about being overwhelmed by people wanting to come around to our house to 'help' which will just stress me out. I think a baby-moon at the hospital sounds like bliss - I'd add to your list above, lovely mid-wives to gently guide out long-staying visitors when you'd really like to be soaking up that newborn with your man and sleeping.

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    1. They offer the 'date night' at our hospital too! We have never taken them up on it, preferring to lay low in the hospital but it's SO ace!

      As for your description of how you would feel re visitors at home, feeling overwhelmed and so on- you have just written my EXACT feelings. I'm not one to give advice- but here I will mention one regret I had with my first- not finding my 'no'. I SHOULD have said NO to all those visitors, to all of the friends of family and friends of friends and so on. When your time comes, find your NO and use it. Only the very most sacred of people should visit :)

      Big fat blessings on conception for you!!

      xo em

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  6. For my first baby I stayed in for a couple of nights but my last two I came home within a few hours of giving birth. I just wanted to be home with my family. Here in New Zealand your midwife visits you everyday at home for the first week (and then a couple of times a week untill baby is 6 weeks old) My mum came to help with the other children and to make meals and do washing etc. I had natural births without any complications. But if I had any complications or felt the baby needed to be around nurses etc I would stay without hesitation. We also lived within minutes of the hospital so felt at ease about going home. My dad was horrified. He is of the generation where women stay in for atleast 5 days! xo

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    1. God bless mums! What would we ever do without them? To think that we will one day offer these very same services to our own children :)

      xx

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  7. My goodness, I couldn't agree more! My life is so far removed from wistful herbal teas and quiet moments of linen-based serenity. I wouldn't swap it for the world but I am SO looking forward to the hotel, sorry, hospital bit after the birth - to the point I gave up my place on a birthing pool birth suite list when I found out I'd be turfed out after six hours. Bring on the lovely midwives and the middle of the night toast deliveries that I so loved last time. My only worry is that my last birth was so quick i might not make it to the hospital in time. I plan to sleep in the carpark from about week 36. X

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    1. oh it's SO a hotel!

      showers have water... who needs a pool? You'll have 4 days of luxury up your sleeve!!

      let me know if you'd like to borrow our inflatable camp mat for your car park stay. I'll totally lend it to you but only if you promise not to let your...ehum... membrane rupture upon it ;)

      xo em

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  8. I agree! My doctor told me i could check out early... as if!

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  9. oh Em... I am so excited for you!! Its so wonderful you have had such brilliant hospital experiences and I am sure this one will be no different! Enjoy your time bonding with your new bebe being looked after and pampered... I had an amazing babymoon after the birth of my 6th child in January... 2 weeks of doing NOTHING!! Bliss... I am blessed to have a large extended family who took amazing care of me and older children who have grown past jumping on the bed at ungodly hours of the morning!! Thinking and praying for you over these last weeks... much love xx

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    1. 6th child. Kate, you are AMAZINGGGG!!!!!!!

      thanks for the love, lady!

      xxxx

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  10. I love your site! You will be in our prayers and thoughts! Nice and informative post
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  11. Oh my gosh, I am so glad that someone else has "two explosive devices" that descend on the marital bed each morning! I end up getting up early to save myself the pain of a kick in the ribs or elbow to the eye...
    All the very best with your baby moon x
    Sammy

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  12. I'm due in about 8 ish weeks and can't wait for my hospital stay. Given my house sounds a lot like yours, with 3 y.o and 18 m.o jumping around all over the place I'm looking forward to bonding with my little person uninterrupted for a few days!!!

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  13. Yes stay as long as you can Em! After having my darling 3rd daughter I went home on day 2 because I was high on those amazing post baby hormones. Reality hit that night when my 3 and 2 year old expected everything of me. Rest whilst you can, I regretted not having those few extra days with my babe in hospital.

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  14. Also, hanging out for those Arabella Ramsey pjs!!! I rang target (because I'm a stalker) and they said they are not coming out for a while! Soooo jealous... Hope they are out in time for me!!! 8 weeks to go!! Lauren

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  15. I left the hospital quickly with my last but honestly I think you have the right idea particularly with a c-section, I found my c much harder to recover from than my vbacs.
    Obviously what's right for each woman and family differs but either way it's getting the support and help during the gentle (as possible) getting to know you time with a new baby that's important.
    Some of us fair better in hospital and others at home. All that matters is we think about what we need and be assertive in seeking it.
    It's really good seeing you know what you need and are comfortable in seeking it out. I hope it's a wonderful birth and babymoon for all of you.

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  16. Lady, I totally get this! I have had my first three at home, but I'm seriously considering the birth centre for this one FOR THE HOLIDAY! 2 days of restaurant-delivered food, no mess around, a beautiful room (without a floor-drobe), midwives on call, kids taken care of somewhere else.. Sounds divine. I am so with you. Enjoy your stay in the Hospital Hotel! x

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  17. I had all five in hospitals in the A.C.T, got looked after well and it really helped being able to just focus on the newborn for the first few days of his/her lives...I loved the old Canberra Hospital best with it's open windows and fresh air, being the end of summer/autumn and beautiful views of Lake Burley Griffin.

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  18. I totally get it too! I'm also expecting to go into labour any day now with my third, and like you, I am actually looking forward to a 'holiday' at the hospital. Because my two (aged same as yours) are loud as well - surely all normal 4 and 2 year olds!? I didn't particularly like my previous stays in hospital, (due to uncaring midwives and a need to get home) but this time will be different because my attitude will be different, I will be more confident and assertive and more comfortable to do things my way. And I definitely like the idea of hubby bringing in a real coffee - might just have to do the same...Anyway, all the very very best for welcoming number 3. Look forward to your good news :)

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  19. I stayed in our local maternity unit with my second son, tea and bics at 10pm while he slept and lovely home cooked food, I did not want to leave. One item I could not recomend highly enough are ear plugs, you will be able to hear your baby cry but it muffles the hard noise so you will be able to rest in the day xx

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  20. Totally agree - I had a c-section first time round and had such a great experience in the hospital and wonderful help establishing breastfeeding. Second time round I had a VBAC and while I didn't stay in as long it was nice to have a wee break from my very excited then almost 2 year old! I feel almost guilty wanting this again!

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  21. I desperately hope that I have an experience like you this time around. My hospital stay was so shocking last time that I plan to leave as soon as I can this time. It's so much scarier this time knowing the complete lack of care or professionalism that I experienced in the same hospital during and after my last birth. I'm certainly pinning some hopes on the relaxing in bed at home business while others look after us, sounds just perfect (although equally as unlikely!). Hope you're feeling great!

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  22. I had an elective c- section for my second and compared to the emergency for my first it was all kinds of wonderful. The peace and quite away from the wild and wooly almost three year old, the tree filled view, the endless trolleys of treats..... almost makes me want a third for that 5 days of blissful reprieve! mel x ps I love those bambi pjs too.

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  23. I had to get home asap. I feared rolling out of those dinky beds at night (we have a king at home) and our local cottage hospital is sooo noisy! But i was lucky enough to have hubby home for a month so he could circumvent 3 the 3 year olds bed dives!

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  24. It sounds like bliss for me too. In the UK, you are moved to a postnatal ward with other new mums after birth and I discharged myself the day after my c-section. Seriously, I don't mind my own baby waking me up but I take exception to being woken by other people's babies! But had I paid for my own room, or gone to a private hospital, I would have stayed much longer enjoying the peace. Good for you - enjoy your baby moon, those days are all too brief! x

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  25. What? All mothers aren't the same? All babies aren't either? :)

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  26. You are so real, I love that. The post birth hospital stay really is a dream, little did I know that the first time around though. The calm before the storm when you get home and realize you have absolutely no idea what you are doing. :) I think il appreciate it more the second time around.

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  27. I've had all three at the hospital in 2 different countries. The first in Norway, fantastic experience and recovery at the hospital. We were lucky enough to get our own room, and hubby got to stay over too, so it was a lovely little bonding time. Second and third babies were born in Denmark, and honestly I just wanted to go home, so I left the hospital both times a couple of hours after birth so I could sleep in my own bed. There wasn't the first baby insecurities, and there were grandparents to help out. A hubby on paternity leave took care of the older children, so it wasn't too bad :)

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  28. my 6 night hospital stay was heaven!. I was a public patient but was lucky enough to have a private room, ensuite and private courtyard ( which the visiting 3yr old loved more than his new little sister!) x

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  29. I've had friends say that for their first, they wanted to be home as quickly as the hospital would let them leave, but for subsequent kids - they've stayed in til they are kicked out! (as it's more restful in hospital then at home with a toddler!). My son was born in the Netherlands where home births are the norm (and if you want a 'hospital' experience, you take your midwife to a birthing suite near the hospital. you only go to hospital if you are a 'medical' pregnancy). I had wanted the laid back, home/outpatient experience but ended up being in hospital due to a 68hr labour and a bunch of other complications. In the end, I was very glad to be there but I think the private room/ensuite/bed for hubby to sleep on made a big difference to the quality of our stay.

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  30. Love this post Em - I totally agree! I had an emergency c section first time round, and NEEDED to be taken care of too! I only got to spend 2 nights in hospital as the ward was heaving with newborns, but would have loved to stay longer... Not having to think about cooking, readyin the house for visitor etc was awesome - we just got to lap up all that new baby perfection, and the wonderful midwives were always there for reassurance and encouragement.. Best of luck for your upcoming arrival, it's assured to be a beautiful day for your whole family x

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  31. That reminds me.. must get PJ's. At least if they are nice and new there is hope I may spend a little more time in them than usual!
    Can't be long for you now Emily, will be thinking of you and looking forward to introducing our babes to each other. xA.

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  32. I couldn't wait to get home after #1 and #2 but if I was having a #3 I think I would be looking forward to a quiet hospital room too! All the best :)

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  33. I'm really looking forward to your take on an elective caesarean birth. I'm fairly sure that if I have another it will be an elective. One emergency caesarean was enough for me.

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  34. I had boy no.4 in hospital with a planned c-section. I stayed the whole time and it was bliss! I felt like I had had a holiday and was happy to be going home. There is no way that would have happened if I had come home! I also had a pedicure on the 3rd day-a local beautician comes and does them in your room-HEAVEN!

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  35. Hi Em,
    Such an exciting time! All 3 of my Wildthings were born by C-sections. 3 nights was always my limit in hospital before coming home to recover and let everybody bond with the newbie. *Remember to have loads of pillows on your bed to prop yourself up.
    I went to an amazing baby shower recently where the mum to be asked for meals to fill her freezer in-place of presents (Fab idea!) anything to make life easier in those first few weeks. On our last night in hospital with Oscar we had a meal together as a family of 5- my big 2 still recall our pizza party to celebrate their new brother coming home the following day..at that stage Zara was still insisting on calling Oscar "Frankie"and telling everyone she had a new baby sister and insisting on covering his little face with pizza kisses- sibling love ;)

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  36. I have had 3 straight forward births and I wouldn't swap my Hospital stay for all the herbal tea in china!!! Those first few days of one on one time (especially with the smothered 3rd) Should be relished. You will be home doing the norm before you know it, Sooooo looking forward to your news, enjoy this special time x

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  37. Baby WHAT?! Have I missed something? I think I was seriously deprived of this thing called a baby moon. Enjoy those first precious days being waited on and resting and enjoying your precious bub. Xx

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  38. I was out of the hospital 12 hours after the births of my first 3 children.They were hospital births so that was their rule at that stage.
    Then with our son we moved to a new area so we got to use a birth center.It was INCREDIBLE!We got to have an unaided water birth where my husband was my midwife,and I was home 3 hours after he was born.I loved going home and sharing the new baby with their siblings.

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  39. Seriously are those Bambi PJ's from Target - so love them! I have a white wrap from Sorrella and Me and it is amazing, great to discreetly breast feed in too. I have blissfully read articles about couples going on baby moon's too - it seems it is more for those with baby number one. I have had all my cherubs in a private hospital and had a c-section for my first and natural for the next two. Staying in this hospital is like a hotel (room service from the cafe if need be), they can arrange a romantic dinner, the garden is beautiful to walk around in (I only learnt I could LEAVE the floor to do this on the last day I was there), great talks from the midwives, a beautician can come and see you, LOVE it! Don't be in a rush home with your c-section, I have had a few friends/family suffer complications after this procedure and some have had to go back to the hospital. Look after yourself and take things slowly. Enlist friends and family now - they are sure to be willing to help you. All the best - every time I see your gorgeous bump my ovaries start to ache again LOL xx

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  40. My last fifth baby was in the hospital. Heaven! I asked for the room furthest from everything with views of the river and treetops. The trade off was I would never push that buzzer as I was an old hand at the whole baby thing. She and I bonded over lovely food (I'm coeliac so they cook the nicest meals for you), no laundry and limited visits from the throng. I did nothing but breast feed and sleep. One of the nicest weeks of my life!

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  41. I had a c-section with Jarvis, combine that with a private room, did you think I wanted to come home to a house with internal stairs and a bathe that I could not get in our out without help? Justin got to sleep in th room with me and went home to make me food. I wasso content.

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  42. LOL, you have perfectly described my own experiences of babymoons.

    Absolutely loved my four nights in hospital... the peace, the one-on-one time with Edward, the quiet times with Rick, the cups of tea, the constant hot meals, the midwives telling me how cute my baby was... I even had time to organise photos and write blog posts (which, naturally, is my idea of relaxing).

    It was, of course, lovely to come home, but I'm still a teensy bit sad the hospital part is now over.... :)

    So much love,
    Ronnie xo

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    1. Lady, I have thought of you SO often over the past few days- every time I saw you were STILL in hospital on insta, I was pleased :)

      It is both SO beautiful to have some one on one with baby and SO wonderful to go home to your own bed and life :) Such a happy balance and beautiful time :)

      xxx

      SQUEEEEEEEEEE EDWARD!!!

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  43. I soooo love babies and won't be having another of my own so I am enjoying every moment Em of living vicariously through your pregnancy with beetleshack baby number 3 thank you for sharing each step in the way that you do. I can't believe that you are even finding the energy to blog at this stage. Yes go right ahead and put those feet up in the hosi, sounds like a delightful plan to me. For my first babe I stayed two nights in a beautiful birthing centre with my husband right there with me, private room queen size bed (terrible food but hey I'm a wholefood mama, the factory farmed heart shaped chicken schnitzel with boiled grey vegetables they served up was never going to cut it that aside all was great). Baby number 2 arrived in a massive hurry and I had an unplanned homebirth and was then taken by ambulance to a public hospital where I stayed two nights. I may as well have slept at a train station, it was so unbelievably noisy and the woman in the bed next to had hordes of visitors. Not ideal but I was glad I stayed there two nights because it did give me some one on one time with my babe before taking him home to bond with his big brother. Oh and the catering was better because my darling husband prepared food and brought it in for me I still think about the tempeh salad and mushroom risotto we ate, so good! Take good care xx

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    1. Thank you for your kind words Nikki!

      I'll have my feet up indeed :)

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  44. No cooking, no cleaning, no 4pm-bedtime bonkers time with the other two, dimmer lights, morning tea trays and late night tea and biccies...
    hospital time, baby moon, mummy recovery, bubs and mum bonding, aloooonnne time, I dont care what it is called just....
    ...Bring it!
    I do have a funny story about catching a clot on a hallway walk as I looked for some company but probably a story for another time!

    And lovely morning visits from my Obst...whom I adore... Wait for your last check up after bubs arrives...if you like your obst... that my friend...is a really big moment. Very very emotional.
    Saying goodbye.... He tried to convince me to have more babies... it nearly worked!

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    1. NO 4PM BEDTIME BONKERS!!!

      Lisa, 4 days is not enough, is it?

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  45. I love this post! I am due to have bub 3 in July and just recently told my partner not to expect me home for at least three days after the birth. I will be milking the attention and time to enjoy our new baby in peace before returning to the chaos at home.
    - Jo x

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  46. I love your PJ's and so get the thing about the length, being a fellow shorty! Enjoy the time in hospital getting to know your new baby, everything changes as soon as you get home. As a kinder teacher i hear a lot of new baby stories. The one that sticks out in my mind is when Mum went off in the night to have baby number 4, leaving number three who was only 16 months sleeping in her bed. He woke up the morning next to Mum who was feeding the new baby! You have to do what works for you!

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  47. aahhhh this is so perfectly written :) I was totally the same. I had mine naturally, but being a private patient meant four nights and even though I missed the kids terribly after having #3, I was so glad I decided to stay the full four nights. especially because by #3, all your friends have had babies too and don't want to take their toddlers to the hospital to run amok so you get very few people dropping in - bonus! haha I was also given the premium suite for #3 with big bed so e and I could sleep together which was great because he hated being in his bucket/cot/thingo! exciting times now.. xx

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  48. i'm praying target has a % off pj's soon before these pj's sell out in my local store. I'm not ready to pay that amount for them ... or maybe I just want two different styles. Should I say thank you for sharing them with me? I think they will be the perfect hospital pj's.

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  49. Love this...'I can't help but propose that maybe, just maybe every woman is different, every birth is different and what is 'best' is diverse and varied.'
    Wise words xo

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Thanks so much for your words of encouragement, advice and solidarity.

xo em