Tuesday, March 26, 2013

I CAN AND I WILL



In light of my current exhaustion, sleep depravation, ratty children and general physical discomfort, I'm having to make some choices. Choices about my thoughts and actions.

I'll be honest; when I'm tired and grumpy I have a general default position- to be tired and grumpy*. Snappy and lethargic. Moody and lazy- call it what you will.

This morning when I was awoken by the typical 4:45 'mumma' shout out followed by the 5:30 'let's start this day' summons I found myself uttering curse words under my breath.

The day was difficult. There were tears and tantrums a plenty. Voices were raised and no one was proud of their behaviour, least of all me.

This evening I'm taking a moment to reflect and gather my thoughts. I know life requires balance and that balance is a beautiful thing. But sometimes it's elusive.

Right now, it totally escapes me.

But I still have choices. I still have the power to control my own cognition. So i'm making a choice- a big, fat adult decision to CHOOSE happy. Tired, swollen, uncomfortable and happy.

The kind of happy that comes from sacrifice. The kind of happy that a stay at home parent sometimes has to force themselves to feel.

Lets call it content.

Tomorrow at 4:45 i'm going to let my brain control my emotions.


*beautiful, sexy nesting bug, where have you gone?

In other news, the winner of this giveaway has now been announced- you can see if it was you back here. Also, it's almost time for a new blog header as part of the Artist Series, it's a good one too :)

26 comments:

  1. Sometimes our idea of 'happiness' isn't at all what we thought. If that makes sense. Been reading Happiness at Home. It is a really inspiring read. Good on you for choosing 'happy' ... just pick one good thing and focus on it. xx

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  2. Dear Em you're not alone! I have to remind myself to breathe at times too and to choose happy! As hard it is on us parents it's just as hard for little people too who cope with a great deal in their little lives everyday :)

    Happy days to you...

    Sophie xo

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  3. hey. balance doesn't exist, I think. Not in any one moment, anyway. Over our entire lifetime, maybe. Just keep breathing as best you can. You don't need to apologise or justify. Just acknowledge and move on. The next day always rolls around! Take care, sweet lady! x sarah

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    1. 'not in one moment'

      nothing is more true!

      xo em

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  4. I'll be working on reaching happy/content tomorrow too. For me tomorrow will be much better than today, I'm certain.

    I've promised myself that I will not turn the tv on for the children to watch while I retreat to my bedroom for a nap. Tomorrow I will also vacuum up the sultanas that seem to have multiplied across our floor. But not tonight, I'm far to tired tonight. Pregnancy when you have two at home with you permanently is really, really hard! And I'm only in the second trimester, I'm not looking forward to the third.

    I hope tomorrow is a better, contented day for you also. Wishing you a solid uninterrupted nights sleep (:

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    1. So how was it? Hopefully much more successful- was thinking of you

      xo em

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  5. choosing happy is always the best choice we can make, and sometimes, it is the hardest. you bring som much happiness, warmth and joy that i'm sure there is lots coming back at you for you to savor.

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  6. I get tired of (and a little bit sad) reading blogs showing perfect lives with no nicks written by superhero parents. Your stories Em, are beautiful and real and something I can relate to completely with almost every post you write. thankyou for being so open and though I don't know you personally, I'm sure the choosing happy plan is going to work. I'm going to try the same tomorrow too! :-)

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    1. well i'm certainly no super hero!

      Thanks for the encouragement lady.
      So far the choosing happy plan has worked... for two whole day!! whoop!!


      xo em

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  7. We've had the youngest here waking us at 5 for a while now and it's causing tiredness and crankiness. End of school term too, and start of autumn has meant grumpy afternoons and runny noses. I shall remember I am not 35 weeks pregnant! Do what it takes - I reckon big chunks of happiness comes in the form of enlisting doting grandparents, or hitting a cafe for pancakes occasionally, worth the cost. Pancakes that someone else has cooked is my plan of attack for tomorrow! x

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  8. i will be choosing to be happy tomorrow too. i don't know if it was the crap weather today or that i got out of the wrong side of bed or the fact that jess and i have been at home alone for fours days straight but today i was snappy. it's just not fair on little ones, they don't need it or deserve it. i am getting better at acknowledging my moods when they are not their best and letting it go but it takes a lot of practice. happy happy happy tomorrow!
    x

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  9. As stay at home parent , I have realized how many times I force myself to keep reminding of all the pleasures my little girl give me and make me happy! It's definitely hard work with sleep deprivation and pregnancy hormones running in body...hang in there, tomorrow is another beautiful day...as always happiness is state of mind :)

    Wishing you many happy days ahead:) x

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  10. You are so right...learning and choosing contentment is an adult thing. You are "growing up". Have you read the book "One Thousand Blessings" by Anna VosKamp? An amazing read and a challenge to contentment with thanksgiving.
    Rosemary

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    1. I haven't read that one Rosemary but I will track it down.

      thanks for the tip!

      xo em

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  11. You are so wonderful to take a step back and break it down logically, it is so hard to do. Though I must say, most days I do try to wake with the intention of not being cranky, or letting things get to me, or overreacting at annoying little things. Just some days I'm better at following it through than others. I think you're amazing, being heavily pregnant and having 2 small children to tend to, must be up there with the hardest of combinations. Ever! xoxo

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  12. Sending good thoughts to you at 4.45am when you need those happy thoughts to fill your mind and body. xx

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  13. every day i struggle with this! every single day! xxx hugs x

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  14. God bless you for it! Happiness is always a choice :)

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  15. Sorry you had a stinker day we all do, good.on you to change it to a positive hope tomorrow is a great one xxxx

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  16. I'd be cursing and shouting, too - 4.45 is just plain rude! Kellie xx

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  18. Hold on to the lure of the impending babymoon!
    Yepo, third time round you are going to look forward to the silence at night while you feed, and how your family gets the smack on the bottom it needs... mum has carried and delivered a baby...back off everyone!!!!
    ...its twilight zone... for a while!!!!!
    I think being pregnant is natures way of making logical, caring kind women... toughen up and say...stuff you all...I need to be horizontal...NOW!
    Hope you are smiling..!

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    1. oooh Lisa, you have read my mind! BABY MOOOONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN

      glorious thing that it is.

      You have SO much wisdom Lisa, wanna move in and smack some bottoms?

      xo em

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  19. I too have had far too much early morning cursing under my breath of late. I know there is a season for everything-- I just wish this season included a deep, driving desire to keep up on dishes & laundry & a bounteous amount of mental stability..haha-- Here's to a fantastically non-exciting tomorrow.

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  20. Any tips on how to get your brain to control your emotions? Because some days (like today) I woke up and wanted to smash all the things, and no matter what my brain told my feelings, they told my brain to go outside and eat worms. (but then, a lovely walk outside seemed to right things, but still...I'd love to hear your strategies!)

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    1. ahhah oh gosh, I know! Sometimes it's SO HARD!!

      I have read a great book on cognitive behaviour therapy called 'changing your thinking'- it's a great read and super helpful.

      xx

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Thanks so much for your words of encouragement, advice and solidarity.

xo em