Monday, October 8, 2012
A while ago I wrote about how in some crazy part of my insecure self, I linked my success here, on this blog to my personal feelings about myself; my success as a person.
It was a strange thing to confess, but I suspect not really a surprise, however unhealthy it may be.
I suppose i've always associated success with certain tangible/ superficial things. Whether it be having great clothes, a nice house, a good job, international holidays etc. For so long these things provided me with security, a sense of self... or self worth if you will.
That is until I had children and my world changed.
I could no longer identify myself with these things, as they no longer existed for me.
The other day I had a moment of such sparkling clarity that I almost fell to my knees.
It was a simple moment, one much like many others that had passed before it. The kids and I were pottering about in the front garden, they were doing their thing and I mine.
I looked up from where I was working to see my Young Man walking towards me. With a stride in his step and pure confidence in his voice he announced 'Mum, I'm just going to go down the back to feed the chooks' *
And off he stomped (we always stomp down the back to scare away the snakes).
I took a deep breath and appreciated how confident, capable and self assured that little boy is.
I'm not about to go and place my self worth in the success or security of my children, but I do find comfort in knowing that Dave and I are providing for them in the best way we know how.
Zeph moves with confidence, sure of his place here in this family. He knows the names of the herbs and vegetables in our garden - by sight, taste and scent.
This is the perspective i've been yearning for. To delight in the things that matter and things that are eternal.
Not the fleeting falsities of 'stuff'.
*We live on half an acre of un-landscaped, scrubby bush where there are snakes and spiders and hoppy joes (bull ants). The chooks are quite a way down the back and we usually all head down together.
Case in Point
A New Year - A New Dream
If you're interested, we have a $1600 kids bedroom to giveaway.