Monday, October 29, 2012

The Past Two Months




Now that i've outed myself on the 'baby' front I can tell you how completely exhausted I am.

Oh gosh, the secretive first trimester is the hardest, don't you think? That, and the third trimester when you have a baby's head, you know... applying pressure.. to.. well, you know.

My decision to skip out of some activities, embrace change and slow down our weekly routine was incredibly timely. So instead of rushing to get out of the house every day of the week, the kids and I now have two very lazy days at home.

On these blissful days we slouch about the house in our trackies, sometimes we do the grocery shopping (but not often) or put on a load of washing. We play with playdough, make fresh juice and hit the drive through circuit round lunch time. I know, I know- there I go again straying so far from my ideals about eating local, organic, ethical food. But i've been craving juicy, fatty, greasy burgers okay. It's my pregnancy thing and i'm not about to deny myself or lie about visiting macca's for the sake of keeping up appearances... ohhh look at me being all pregnant and emotional*.

It would be safe to say that eating ethically has given way to eating obsessively.

It's not at all unusual for Dave to arrive home from work to find the kids still in their pyjama's.  At which point he laughs and affectionally ruffles their hair before asking them if they've had a fun day.  Food down their fronts and fresh sand pit sand falling from their bums is a tell tale sign that they have indeed enjoyed themselves.


This is the first time in my parenting career that I have afforded myself (and my children) such a luxury, and I can't express what a true and treasured luxury it is.


In the past two months Zeph has watched more iview/movies that he has in his life time. Some days we snuggle on the couch and watch Fire Man Sam together while other days it's Octanauts - but everyday, it's something.

The nausea has come in waves but i've impressed myself with an ability to ride it out, rather than push through and soldier on. If I feel sick or exhausted I rest and the kids make do.

My expectations of myself and the kids are, lets say, realistic. If I don't have the time or energy to cook dinner then Dave does it when he gets home or we have take out. It's okay, we're a team here at The Beetle Shack and we're all rolling with it.

And this time, possibly for the first time, I can't feel the black dog of anti natal depression biting at my heels.

It's liberating to accept that near enough really is good enough.

So we move forward, into the second trimester with a renewed energy, a few extra kilos and a great anticipation of all the good that is still yet to come.


the beetle shack is expanding 
change I embrace you
case in point


LAST CHANCE TO ENTER OUR $1000 GIVEAWAY (winner drawn tomorrow)


*I promise i'm not crying right now.

39 comments:

  1. Bless you and your awesomeness. I bet your kids are have THE time of their lives. It really sounds like fun to be a kid at your house.

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    1. ahahah oh thanks thats such a lovely thing to say. They certainly do rule the roost!

      xo em

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  2. I remember those days.
    Being so exhausted that I couldn't get up from the couch...even if it was just to move to my bed!

    Good on you for looking after yourself and your baby.
    And good on Dave and the kids for fending for themselves!

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    1. mmm yeas, bed is SO tempting at all stages of the day, but sleep will come anywhere!

      xo em

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  3. The first trimester sucks! And I am still exhausted now at 13 weeks (low iron levels). We've had a lot of lazy days here too. I try not to worry too much about the housework and have a nap every afternoon while Lily naps. We do what we can.

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    1. ooh no, you and I can't be worrying about the house work my drunken moneky buddy!

      we must leave that for the others!

      xo em

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    1. :)

      mee too! It feels good to be gentle on myself!

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  5. You know there's nothing wrong with that whatsoever Emily.
    I'm sure once upon a time we valued the simple things and that would have been considered enough......
    Why do we beat ourselves up so much?
    You keep doing what you're doing......it's beautiful!
    Tania xx

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  6. that first trimester IS so tiring!!... but when you think about the fact that you body is busily making a another human - it makes sense!!... Taking it slower is the way to go!...

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  7. Naw, so exciting!! Hope 2nd trimester treats you well x

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  8. "It's liberating to accept that near enough really is good enough."

    This. A thousand times this.

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  9. WOW! how amazing you are to have moved to this new place of being realistic with yourself about what you can and just cannot do in a day. and in the process are enjoying your pregnancy and your kids. isnt it amazing that this is the first? pregnancy with no signs of anti natal depression so far. Wow! that is just awesome & i am joy-filled for your and your family. sending blessings your way for the rest of this season and the new one coming your way. xox

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  10. I think that the little one in your belly will be very happy that you are resting up. It's good to take it slow.

    Also - I don't think that you need to apologise re the whole drive through thing. The fact that you go that extra mile most of the time, and have a vege garden means you do eat ethically - maybe just not for every.single.meal - but that's okay because we do what we can. I only wish the majority of the population were as aware of their food choices as you! Seriously though, when I changed my eating habits by going from a regular ol' carnivore to eating organic and vegan I struggled with my (inevitable) failures until some wise friend said that its ultimately my choice and its ok if you're not doing your ideal every single time you eat - nobody's perfect. Now I eat a 99% vegetarian, 90% organic diet and I'm ok with that. It's hard though because making those choices that are perceived as "different" or "alternative" can really open you up to criticism/judgement from others.

    x

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  11. Squeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaal! Just had a catch up in blog land and discovered your new news! Congrats and all that usual jazz as well as Yahooooooo and Ooooooooh Yeah and a Walla Walla Bing Bang! A toast: To life... little life... growing inside life... getting ready to tackle life.... ♥♥♥♥

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  12. Good for you. I found myself super relaxed with no.3 pregnancy too. Once he arrived, that relaxed attitude stood me well for the stresses and constant busy-ness of 3 kids at home. That said, it's still pretty frickin' hard and definitely a team game.
    Congratulations and bon appetite!

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  13. So glad to hear that you are coping ok Em. It is very hard to have two little ones and be so tired and sick. This is one occasion where it's ok to get through it any way you can. Preserving yourself and bub is number one! Blessings & love xx

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  14. It's such a short season in the scheme of things isn't it. Rolling with it is the perfect solution. The first two trimesters of my 3rd pregnancy were awful. There were times I felt so sad that I couldn't "do anything" for my children and that I had to rely on others for so much. But now that little baby is 2, and the chaos that got me down so much is so far in the past!

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    1. Of course now we have a different brand of chaos! But at least it doesn't involve quite as much spew.

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  15. oh that cranky tiredness in the first trimester is horrid...i would wake up and count the minutes before i could put my son down for his arvo nap so i could nap too! eye lids constantly drooping! yay that your past it...sounds like a very realistic fun time at your place..enjoy your second timester x

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  16. I'm glad things are going (relatively) smoothly for you this pregnancy. Good luck for the rest of it!

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  17. Oh yes, the exhaustion and the obsessive eating has been taking place over here too. In fact, I'm sure all I've done in the last two months is nap three hours a day and eat junk. Bring on second trimester, I say!
    Ronnie xo

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  18. I love how you are a team. The babes love you and you love the babes and your husband love you and babes and you love him and its all just lovely and even at those times that it may not seem so lovely it really just is because you guys are an awesome team! Well done

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  19. I bet your kidlets are enjoying every second hey get to spend with you! sounds like your having a lovely time and giving your new little person a relaxed and loving home :) Congrats!

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  20. Oh yes. I love this.

    Embrace that maternal binge eating instinct.
    And pyjama days. I almost had them today but had to get dressed when Lucy wanted to go play with the kids outside.
    The things we do for our children eh?

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  21. Such a good little read :) love how truthful you are. Far too many mums put up the picture perfect front. Terribly messy house and pjs all the way today but on the flip side there was lots of games, laughs and love. That's what they'll remember!

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  22. I love how you are embracing this change with grace for yourself. Nothing wrong with relaxing things up a bit during a trying time.

    When I was pregnant, I ate anything I could get my hands on. Didn't care where it was grow or cooked. I just wanted to eat it!

    ~FringeGirl

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  23. You are doing what is best for everyone right now Em.
    Enjoy your time with little baby growing inside. Sometimes I really miss that feeling, and sometimes I wonder what life would be like if we'd had more.
    I so look forward to seeing your tummy and family grow!

    Much love,
    Rach x

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  24. Wonderful Em! All sounds perfectly real to me. I think the further into this parenting journey we find ourselves, the more likely we are to start relishing in the simple things and letting go of a lot of those unachievable expectations we placed on ourselves at the start of the journey. Some times you just gotta go with the flow. So pleased to hear you've been looking after yourself hun xo

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  25. Oh lovely, I adore these words. And your beautiful surrender...seems to me you are ready for the wonder, joy and freaking chaos that is three. (passing you a cheeseburger). :)sarah

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  26. Good for you going easy on yourself! Seriously, do whatever it takes to get through that dreaded first trimester. I'm 14 weeks pregnant, and my kids pretty much ran riot while I lay on the couch unable to move for a few weeks! They weren't complaining, and it doesn't sound like your two munchkins are complaining either!! Thanks for your honesty yet again, and I look forward to seeing your journey with baby number three. PS - I hear ya with the fast food cravings - mine has been kfc chips dipped in potato and gravy. yuuummmm.

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  27. You go gal! I had our third boy last year... I think its natures way to enforce change while we are prego...so it gives everyone time to change ready for a new baby! Things have gotta give...body, mind, time, space...growing a baby is such a big job and if it demands fatty food (which all of mine did in utero!)...you give it to them and enjoy the fact they can't complain...yet!!! Bless you mum... you are doing an awesome job. Strict eating, activities blah balh blah...doesnt make for happy families!

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  28. go gently and enjoy every minute of that delicious down time ... my little ones love days at home doing not so much! x

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  29. good work Em,
    am pretified of being morning sick with a crazy kid or 2 running around especially with my history of ani natal depression ... so great to hear ths can change :)
    You look gorgeous and I'm sure the kids are loving life right now! xx

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  30. When i was in my first trimester early this year McDonalds was all i could face for a 3 week period (i was very lucky my morning sickness didn't last long). Hotcakes, sausage, bacon & egg mcmuffins & McChickens! Prior to pregnancy i barely touched the stuff. What do they put in their food that sucks pregnant women in?

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  31. Em, it is so refreshing to read the honesty of your words. I think that too often things are left unsaid in fear of being judged. I have just reading many of your other posts and I sobbed and sobbed when I read your story. What a truly remarkable woman you are to put into words something so personal and private. Thank you for sharing.

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  32. :) was a bit slow on the uptake...congratulations on the bubba news! That is wonderful xx

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  33. Well done for putting you first! Pregnancy is HARD. It's good to just relax and unwind.
    Beautiful post. xx

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Thanks so much for your words of encouragement, advice and solidarity.

xo em