Tuesday, August 7, 2012
I've been failing at life lately.
I thought a few days away would cure my bad moods, stress, anxiety and depression. I thought escaping was exactly what I needed. But it turns out that real life still exists back here. My kids still wake before five am, the washing still builds up, the floors still need sweeping and some super sad situations surrounding us have not disappeared.
I'll be honest, for the past few weeks i've found that my life has been completely out of control.
I am at the mercy of my children - they say jump and I do. Spinning in circles and dancing like a monkey upon their request.
I am also at the mercy of my emotions. My stupid, crazy mixed up emotions. Happy, sad, crying, roaring and laughing all in the space of one day - i'm often astonished by my inability to simply 'cope' with life.
The balance is all out of whack and I have trouble seeing past the exhaustion to make sense of what I need to do.
Today, Dave came home early and we took the kids for a walk along the beach. They played in the rock pools and threw fists full of sand into the glorious, majestic ocean.
Clarity always comes by the sea shore and there I decided that baby steps was the only way to move past this slump.
I'll tackle one thing at a time in the hope that I can look back to this place and see positive change.
* gosh, im so up and down. I look back over this blog and think 'geez woman, you've said this SO many times before'. I guess this is just life, hey. Sometimes it's easy, sometimes it's not.
I promise i'm almost stable most of the time**.
**okay, okay. I promise i'm semi stable SOME of the time ;)