Wednesday, May 9, 2012

My Untold Story



There is a little story about me that I have never included here in this space. Not because it's secret, but rather because it's sacred. It's the story of my journey through childhood cancer. A journey that is blotchy for me. Memories come and go, experiences are both real and dream like - but they are mine.

It is a long, drawn out tale of pain, joy, togetherness, struggles, hardships, operations, overcoming and living. It's a story that belongs to me, my mum, my dad and my brother. My family of origion. My people. We journeyed this together, all four of us. Whilst my body was the only one touched by cancer, the lives of my family were also deeply affected.

I actually asked my darling mum to write the first chapter for me. Upon reading her words I could not hold back my tears. Once they subsided I drove straight to her house- my urge to hug her was insatiable.

Now being a mother myself I cannot begin to imagine what having a child with cancer would be like. Having to wonder if they would live. For this reason (and many, many others) I have no doubt in my mind that I, the individual who actually had the dreaded illness was most protected from it's evil.

I'll post my mum's story on having a baby girl with cancer tomorrow. I've written this post to offer some context to mum's words.

25 comments:

  1. I feel a little speechless. I cannot wait to read your mum's words. I will be sure to have the tissues ready. x

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  2. Oh my. You just caused me to tear up already! I have not even read the story. I look forward to read it. I will make sure to have a box of tissues handy. Thanks for being so open. It is touching.

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  3. Oh Em, I have tears already. x

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  4. Oh boy. I'm looking forward to reading what your mum wrote - but dreading it at the same time. I lost my dad to cancer when I was 23, and now as a mother, it's something that I hope not to encounter any time soon. Lead on blossy. Share your victory. :)

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  5. Oh dear. The kleenex box is poised!
    And yet, here you stand today, healed and whole...a walking testimony.
    xx

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  6. Dear Em! I too am a little speechless. So glad you wrote this post today, yes it gives context to your mum's writing and it also prepares us readers somewhat emotionally for your post tomorrow. There's so much power and healing in writing and sharing our stories with honesty and sensitivity. It takes courage. Yes definitely tissues all round tomorrow.

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  7. Oh Em. It is one of the things that frighten me most, now I'm a Mama. There is a beauty and strength to you that comes from being a survivor... I know your Mama's words will break my heart, but I just have to read them. This post is especially poignant, as today I was made aware of a new foundation, raising funds for childhood cancer:
    https://www.facebook.com/NationalCancerResearchFoundation
    I was touched by a beautiful little girl last year. The niece of my sister-in-law. She was 4 when she passed away in November. Completely devastating.
    Your posts will raise much needed awareness Em. You're an angel for sharing your story xoxo

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  8. wow, can't wait to read you (& your mum's) story, you're so brave to share!

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  9. Wow, I, as a mum too, could not imagine what that must have been like for your mum and already feel myself tearing up at the thought of your next post! Thank you for wanting to share your story.

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  10. Aaah, geez man.
    This is gonna be tough for all us Mum's isn't it?
    Puts everything into perspective.
    At least we know there's a happy ending to this story.

    Rach x

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  11. WOW.

    Goosebumply already, beautiful lady xxx

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  12. Every parents worst fear really. A very very sick child is terrifying. When I have hard days with my complicated child and all his long term issues I remind myself that he is not a very very sick child and I am very very grateful. melx

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  13. Em, wow. What a woman your Mum must be. What a survivor you are! Praying for you and looking forward to reading the story of your family. xxx

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  14. Gosh. You poor thing. Your poor parents. I know I will read your Mum's story tomorrow and I will probably cry a bit too. It sounds like your family is awesome. x

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  15. i can't even write a comment that means anything. amazing strength to ask your mum, to want to hear the words.

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  16. Wow - it feels so special that you would choose to share this story. Thank you

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  17. Em I sit here tears in my eyes, covered in goosebumps and lost for words.
    I have no doubt that these posts will require many tissues!
    xx

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  18. Wow, Em. I can't wait to read tomorrow's chapter. Love to you xxxx

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  19. Em, Wow...what a fighter! I love how you are sharing this on your blog, very brave and strong of you.
    Lookin foward to what comes.
    x

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  20. Oh wow. I'm going to cry... I just know it!

    - Sarah
    agirlintransit.blogspot.com

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  21. Wow. I couldn't even begin to imagine what that must have been like for you all to go through. It's amazing the strength we have when we have no other choice. There will be tears. xx hugs to you and your family xx

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  22. Hi, I have read your blog for a short while and never posted but felt I had to today. I am a sister of a childhood cancer survivor. My Brother was diagnosed with cancer at the age of 2 (I was 6 months old at the time) you are right about it affecting more then the person who had to fight (and win YAY!) but also the family. As a mother myself I have had to deal with my own fears and issues to do with my brothers cancer. I will have a rather large box of tissues next to me when I read your mum's story as I am already in tears reading what you posted today.

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  23. hallo em! first of all thank you for your visit & your comment in my blog!
    & i must say i was moved from your post & i am waiting to read your mother's words.
    thank you for sharing this with us, it's difficult to bring back those memories, even if many years have past from then.

    xx
    evdokia

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  24. What I always get about you is being an art teacher who is at home with little kids trying to keep the making and seeing mojo alive in spite of domestic tedium. I'm right there. However I am coming at your whole experience from the opposite direction. Having just been diagnosed with cancer and blitzed with treatment I am grateful, hourly, that it is me and not my babies. Even now I see what my parents are feeling and thank God my kids are ok.
    Isn't it kind of strange and wonderful that as an art maker and teacher, your true sight was never affected and you see in that special way that art lover's do.

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Thanks so much for your words of encouragement, advice and solidarity.

xo em