Tuesday, January 3, 2012

The Holiday Grump

It's true. I've been a holiday grump.

Photo my boring old me




Photo's by uber talented, super exciting Tim

The past 6 months have been so busy for us here at The Beetle Shack; even a short break in the middle of it was interrupted by chaos. It's only natural then, that I would go ahead and sabotage our first real chance at relaxation, right?

Yes, I'm excellent.

The problem seems to be the ocean, I like to call her my husbands mistress. She comes between us that fierce, tempestuous mass of water. She swells and undulates and my dear husband has no choice but to go to her, no matter the hour.

It requires constant negotiation.

You know when you have things that you have really been looking forward to, so much so that your mind is consumed by their glory and your mouth forgets to utter their existence? I do that all the time - think things.... and then assume that those around me have followed along (self involved much?). I had been looking forward to having Dave's undivided attention for the entirety of the holiday season, so it came as a shock to me that he actually wanted to go, gasp, surfing.

How could he? We have scarcely enjoyed a moment together all year. The inner workings of my highly emotional mind went into over drive. Such betrayal.

Needless to say, a good conversation served to clarify our holiday expectations and everybody has been happy ever since.

19 comments:

  1. Shark attack at Avoca today. No lie. That might help your cause.

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  2. I too have these moments with my husband, except his mistress is a balding 40 year old man. Long story, but could be part of the reason of my blog absence, perhaps? Would make for a good blog post one of these days! Stay tuned!

    Rach x

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  3. bahaha, Tim's comment...OMG.
    Poor you. I know what you mean about thinking things and then shock horror when the husband hasn't a clue what the plans were. I've been wondering when WE get a 'day off' ???

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  4. I second the shark attack info. But I heard North Avoca. That's 2 beaches down Dave. X

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  5. What, e can't read your mind? What kind of a surfer can't rea a woman's mind??

    x

    Did that even make sense? I'm just glad you got it out there and are now happier!

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  6. I hear ya lady. We've negotiated that Chris goes at the crack of dawn and is back before 10. The problem with that is it required an early night prior and a nanna nap after. The injustice!! (And the other day he was 2 hours late and I was CONVINCED he had run into trouble. Called the police and everything. Horrifying feeling.

    Well, Happy New Year by the way! You grumpy ol' sod. xxx

    PS. Your posts are always well written, but I thought this one was particularly so. Nice one.

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  7. Oh yes, surfing widow here too. Mostly Dave is off early and home well before lunch. But the other day he was the driver, the boys wanted to go to the pub afterwards and all I got was a text message. Needless to say, he came home after 1 o'clock to a very grumpy pregnant wife...

    :)

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  8. Your sea is my garden...hours be spends, hours x

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  9. I can very much identify. Though we do not have surfing in my area of the world (and especially not in December on this side of the Equator!)... I often lose my husband to deer hunting this time of year. It can be very frustrating to think he'll be around to help me/keep me company on the weekend... only to get the memo on Friday night that he has plans to spend Saturday in the middle of the woods.

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  10. Haha, I do love this, as I had a similar meltdown last night to hubster about his 'thoughtless' extra curricular activities... namely playing golf and going to the cricket. But once I said my piece and it was off my chest, we both felt better. They really need to start perfecting the reading our minds business ;o) xo

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  11. My husband's the same way. Luckily we live over two hours drive from the beach so he's not able to run off that easily :)

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  12. Tim's comment makes me laugh. Hah! When we lived in California, the beach was our favorite spot. We went there three or four times a week and I miss it now that we're in snowy Minnesota.

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  13. It's weird when people think differently to you isn't it. I agree. I wrongly assume that Ben and I will always have the same idea about what's going to happen and when at times like Christmas and that can sometimes be a big ol' mistake to make. It was this Christmas and a few "disagreements" may have gone down. Although throw in a whole bucket of pregnancy hormones to any situation and things are likely to go pear-shaped. Like you say, a good chat is always the way forward and we got it sorted. Glad you guys did too.

    You have to sometimes by grumpy to really appreciate when you're happy and smiley. Right? xx

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  14. Oh my STARS Em I LOVE this. I do it ALL the time. Thank you for sharing your cray cray with me and making me feel less alone.

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  15. i did the same. I should have known better. I do it every single time. I had it all planned out for months. As soon as the holidays hit we'd do this and this and this and that. Unfortunately my husband had it all planned out that he would play this and this and that online. Sigh.
    Brilliant post. At least the sea is romanic and beautiful and worthy. Computer games are not.

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  16. Hi Em, I like this post. I can relate. ALOT! My husband is a surfer, freediver and spearfisherman. I swear he could live in the water. They take up loads of time but spearfishing is worse. Leaving at 4.30am and getting home before dinner. Before children, it was no dramas for me. We were both free and independent people and I'd join him on most occasions... But after children...hmmmm?! We talk frequently about how to make our lives fun (because we all need an outlet!) but fair otherwise my resentment builds and that is definitely not a nice feeling to have hanging around. I think we've found our happy place now. But I always remind him he's a lucky man to have someone so easygoing ;-)

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  17. PS. I should point out that post-surf nanna naps are only taken during Rosie's sleep and the remainder of the day requires full attendance from Husband. This is with one child, when there are two these conditions will be negotiated with the likely outcome that naps of this variety will be replaced by childcare/family duties.

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  18. I know exactly how you feel. My husband is a bit like this, but with cycling, so he disappears on what he says will be a ‘short’ bike ride and gets carried away, so he’s gone for hours, and I’ve just been at home waiting and getting grumpy as it feels like the day has gone, with me waiting around. What I should do, is get of my arse and go out anyway, but instead, I’m just a big old grump. I’m glad you had a good ol’ chat about it and you feel better. xx

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  19. That bloody ocean. Such a harlot! ;)

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Thanks so much for your words of encouragement, advice and solidarity.

xo em