Monday, July 25, 2011

Let Me Tell You About Today

Oh yes. Today- Monday.

The sun was shining, birds were chirping and children were playing happily in the streets. We on the other hand were inside with the blinds drawn and tissues shoved up our runny noses,  slummin' it on the couch.

When the clock struck 10 we scampered out to the car (tissues still up noses) to make the trek to my old work. The place that used to pay me to have fun. It was the trial marking day for HSC Body Of Work and I was going to throw my two bob in. Not long after our arrival I realised that I no longer had to bob to offer. That's right- it appears I am officially brain dead (i will confirm this later). I left, deflated. Marking Criterias, outcomes, jargon- it's all lost to me now.

As a means of  restoring my self worth, I decided to make my family a delicious meal. Roast chicken with chorizo and tomato, all I needed was a few extra ingredients. We once again load into the car for a quick shopping adventure.

Lady baby in Bjorn, Young man in trolly. Right. Let's go. Oh wait, bung trolly. We just grab a new one- no big deal.

It's all way too easy right here. My children behave like angels, no crying, no screaming, no climbing out of trolly- no nonsense. We hunt and gather what we need from Harris Farm before rolling our way back to the parking lot. I give my back pockets a quick tap to locate my keys, followed by a rummage through my bag- no keys.

Yeah- left my keys in that first bung trolley. I left that bung trolley stranded outside harris farm. By the time I got back there is was long gone. Keys. Long. Gone.

But don't worry- I cooked that dinner, i cooked it good. And it was AWESOME. Dave is cleaning up as we speak while I  skull sip a glass of $4 Shiraz, cus that how I roll. I screw stuff up and drink cheap wine and i'm okay with that.



Let's all look at Mr Depp.

23 comments:

  1. oh yes, Dave had to come and bring me some keys.

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  2. hahahah! Oh yes after a day like that lets switch our mama dead brains to Mr Depp. Oh god he is too pretty and sexy and all things delicious.... (I am at work, and my dead brain can not all focus on one thing and one thing alone, I kinda dont give a shit anymore!). have a great rest of week...and skull that wine! Lou xx

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  3. Love it.... About a month ago I went to Woolys whilst the kids were sleeping (husby at home) and also discovered I had mislaid my keys on my trip around the supermarket....knew Marcus couldn't come get me, knew he'd be like "what tha?!" so scoured every aisle, bum in air, looking in and under every nook n cranny, swearing like a trooper and appalled at what I found....eewh. Stormed down to car park to start walking home and call the boy on the way only to find them in the friggin' ignition.....Seriously?!... I never did shit like that before I had the kids!!

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  4. Wine, Mr Depp and a man cleaning in the kitchen? Looks to me like you have life PRETTY SORTED. We can gloss over the keys incident...

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  5. you've got a shit load of talent and i ain't afraid to swear about it. johnny, why thank you.

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  6. oh yeah, Mr Depp makes everything better..
    enjoy that wine my friend! cheers. x jody

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  7. Em, you just made my day. That story (whilst i am sure was not very enjoyable from your perspective) just made me laugh very hard xx

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  8. Oh god, you're amazing, I would freak if I lost my keys. Wallet, keys, phone... I hate misplacing any of them!
    Great post, you're a funny lady Emily. Hope you feel much better real soon :o) xo

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  9. Just reminded me that there is not enough looking at Mr Depp in my life!

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  10. At least you rocked the roast chicken. And thank you for that picture of Johnny. Oh Johnny, you're so pretty x

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  11. Hehehe, thanks girl- some Depp is just what I needed to get me through this crazy day. I'm sorry about your key misadventures, but oh-so-happy you made it home safely. :)

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  12. i think johnny depp makes everything better. :)

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  13. Wow! A laugh AND a perve. Thanks chica x

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  14. yum. not talkin about the frikkin chicken.

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  15. Somebody had a lucky find - some wheels with they keys still in it!

    ..and I totally forgot how hot he is. Thanks for reminding me... x

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  16. P.S - my word verification for the above comment was 'nonob'. No joke!! Dirty, dirty blogger...

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  17. Em, you do make me giggle.
    Hope your feeling a whole lot better today.
    And can I add, am pretty sure your not brain dead!!
    Mr Depp - hot, hot hot!!

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  18. ahahahah Claire- he better not (have no nob).

    Dull Boy- Coles. hit. it. up.

    Thanks guys for giving me a giggle at the end of a poopppppppp day! Still no keys, gonna have to replace the clickers.

    xo em

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  19. jack picked a toy last week a remote control spider that needed two types of batteries i then proceeded to purchase jumbo packs of the wrong batteries TIMES TWO !!! where is my brain, its written on the spiders box for crying out loud. brain dead.

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  20. Thanks for sharing. You did well and J.Depp was an inspired way to wrap the post. When Roboboy was a bub sitting on his dada's lap I was so braindead I tried to put the dummy in Legoman's mouth instead. We have all been there! melx

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  21. Lol. Just flicking through your cook it posts, looking for something to eat.

    This was me this morning – but I left my entire bag on the street and drove off – returned to the scene a half hour later to find it, of course, not there. It contained (among children paraphernalia) my phone, the house keys, my wallet. Needless to say, there were tears (from everyone) and a little stress ... I'd so be skulling $4 shiraz right now, except I'm pregnant! Luckily, a very kind women returned the entire bag (she found my address on the licence), with contents intact an hour later.

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  22. I feel disgusting saying this as you know who I am but J. D., in my opinion, is the most handsome man ever born. He is one of the few I look at -I'd rather admire women as there are so many I even know in person who are scrumptious.

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Thanks so much for your words of encouragement, advice and solidarity.

xo em